Day one...

This still qualifies as day one, right? Since this whole idea of posting a page and blog came into being after midnight last night, I think: yes.

First, let me start by saying that I woke up this morning absolutely full of inspiration and thoughts, and I jumped right in and wrote them all down here... All of my thoughts flowed really nicely, and I was actually quite proud of my first "real" blog post. As I was putting some finishing touches on it (formatting and such) I clicked this lovely button, that I *thought was a formatting tool- and instead, it supposedly created a "text snippet"...

Y'all, I'm not a computer wizard- I didn't even know what that meant. I do now though - it means: "Do you want to delete literally everything you've done and all of your inspiration along with it? Great! Click here to completely screw up your day in one easy click!" After spending over an hour trying to recover my post- I've decided that it's lost forever. My first thought was- ok that's it. Screw this... Imma just DELETE the whole damn page/blog/site. But... that doesn't really fit in with my journey - which is what the WHOLE last post was about. You know, the really inspired post that is lost forever? Yeah, that one. No, I'm not bitter about that, not at all. So this is the second, far less inspired, written from a place of frustration and anger, post. If anyone happens to read it, please pretend that you got the really good, inspired version, k? Thanks.

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The first part of my post was about why I'm here. I'm here because-near the end of last year, I decided that I wanted to make a change in my life. And for once, I was actually going to DO it. Every year, like most people- as we approach the new year, I tend to look back on the past year and look forward to the next. For me, NYE is kind of a double whammy, because not only is it the new year, it's also my birthday. Each year, I decide I'm gonna do things that will improve my life, and each year I start out with grand plans, and intentions, then--- yeah. You probably can guess how that turns out. Not that my life is bad- it's actually pretty good in the grand scheme of things- I'm not unhappy, I have a good life. I'm pretty content, in fact. But, I feel like there is so much more out there that I'd like to see and do and experience. That there are things I can do to enjoy this life even more. We've all heard the phrase "Today is the first day of the rest of your life". I suppose that's meant to be inspiring- but to me, it sounds rather ominous. I mean, first days are often pretty stressful, no? They are teeming with uncertainty, feeling lost, and like you don't know what you are doing, and tend to bring with them a sense of anxiety. And then there is the "rest of your life" part of that phrase. That just feels like the beginning of the end, or some kind of morbid count down period. #notafan So I decided to take a page out of a really good friend of mine's book (Shout out to Morgan!) and begin my journey. A journey sounds so much more exciting and fulfilling to me. Journeys have a plan, and, while they sometimes go in unexpected directions, sometimes those unplanned detours turn out to be the best part of the whole trip. Now *that sounds more like it! December 20th was the "day one" of my journey. What kind of psychopath starts something new on Dec 20th? > this one < Why? Because once I decide to do something, I have no chill. I'm the kind of person that is all in, right now. Sometimes that's really good, and sometimes not so much- but - it is what it is. Probably something I should add to my list of things to work on on my journey, right? Which also brings us to why I'm writing this blog. Why in the world would a middle-aged woman bother messing with a blog? Here's why:

• I decided to "try new things" as part of my journey - this qualifies.
  

• I want to keep myself accountable.
  

• I like the idea of a journal that I can revisit, and my handwriting sucks (something else I should probably add to my list of things to work on.)
  

• It's a good way to work through my thoughts. Things hit differently when you are writing them down!
  

• I may actually come across something that someone else may find helpful- we are all in this together, right?
  

• I got this crazy idea late last night and that "right now" thing kicked in.
  

• Last but not least, why not? So here I am- on my Day One of this part of my adventure. If you care to join me, I hope you are able to find something in my ramblings that makes you smile. 💜